


Why The Hell Do You Love Me, When I Don't Even Love Myself?

by JUJUChick30



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Faustus/Zelda Relationship (mentioned), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, self-deprecation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:06:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23581318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JUJUChick30/pseuds/JUJUChick30
Summary: Possibly Triggering!Zelda reflecting on points of her self hatred, Marie has a healing touch to her that is slowly making Zelda feel better. Zarie feels...and I suck at summaries.
Relationships: Marie LaFleur (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina)/Zelda Spellman
Kudos: 36





	Why The Hell Do You Love Me, When I Don't Even Love Myself?

**Author's Note:**

> Possibly triggering...I am in a Zelda Spellman mind set and I have no shame in saying she is my favorite character because she is one of the most well written characters inside/out and Miranda Otto plays her so well that she brings that character to life and...I could continue to go on but I'm going to stop because nobody wants to hear me going on like this.  
> Also, Zelda deserves love damn it!  
> Best Part of Me by Ed Sheeran inspiration...

She always drank to much, smoked to much, fucked to much if things could be over indulged on she did it especially if they were things frowned upon. Pulling the strings tighter Zelda gasped, even wearing corsets she didn’t wear them as much as she used to but whenever she did, she tightened them far to tight. Looking in the mirror she remembered at time almost two hundred years ago when she had tightened the corset so tight, she had actually stopped breathing, Hilda had lost her mind when she found her. Zipping her dress up Zelda remembered she had told Hilda she had just been dizzy from being hungry, her sister didn’t say anything further but Zelda knows that she didn’t buy what she was selling.

Trying to take a deep breath Zelda gasped, the bone dug in and her ribs became sore. Perfect. Grabbing her cigarettes, she walked out of her room, she wanted to be punished, she deserved it for Sabrina running from her baptism. Sitting was painful and she relished it, each drag of her cigarette was painful. She deserved it.

Faustus was always rough, he always got his pleasure when he would gasp and jerk from his release, she got her pleasure when he hit to har, when his nails dug in and blood would well up. Once when they were younger, she enjoyed getting pleasure the same as he did but that was so very long ago, she always felt like she was reborn after the lashings he would bestow on her back. She didn’t love Faustus never had but they always understood each other, at least on a carnal level but Zelda knew things were different now. He was rougher than normal; she never used the safe word because she wanted to know how far he would go.

She deserved this, his body on hers and her not able to stop him watching but not having a voice. All of her failures lead her to this, he knew it just as well as she did that is why he always told her. Weak, that is what he kept telling her that she was weak, a failure, pathetic, and he was right.

The hands were soft, gentle, loving she didn’t deserve these touches or the far to sweet kisses. The soft way in which Marie loved her made her gasp, tears falling down her face.

“Ma Cherie.”

This gentleness that felt like a cool breeze, or freshly aired out linen on the line she didn’t deserve. She was a failure; she was pathetic she was…

“Belle, mon beau High Priestess.”

Tears slipped down further, delicate kisses capturing them before they fell to far.

“Parfaite.”

Shaking as strong arms somehow held her with so much ease and tenderness it shattered her heart, no Zelda Spellman was not perfect far from it but Marie was the best part of her and somehow this woman in a singular touch begun to stitch her up from the inside out. She didn’t love herself but Marie loved her and that felt like enough, it felt like peace.


End file.
